Unassisted Home Birth Australia
Freebirth for first time Mothers
published 8 May 2021, updated 9 May 2021
Congratulations! You’re pregnant with your first child and it’s all so exciting, and maybe a little bit nerve-wracking.
You’ve been given this precious life to carry and you want to do everything in your power to keep your little one protected
And somewhere, somehow, you’ve heard that homebirth is a safe and beautiful option for birth.
It calls to you. Deep down you know you were made for birth, and staying at home is normal. You are confident in this choice for you both.
But maybe the doubt creeps in, or the naysayers vocalise loudly, saying, “You can’t do it” or “Not for a first baby, you don’t know what you’re doing”
So you might be on the fence.
Or you might be confident!
I can’t talk you over to one side or the other.
Homebirth and Freebirth must be a voluntary choice.
But I can do my best to give you some tips and advice that might help you succeed in freebirthing your baby, if you make that decision to stay home!
My number one tip is take Responsibility
I do not say this to scare you but to empower you. Be an active participant.
This is your baby, your body, your pregnancy, and your birth!
Everyone else who has an opinion has already had their chance to have their babies the way they wanted.
You don't have to listen to people who don't have to live with the consequences of your decisions.
Whether you birth at home or in the hospital, whether you have a physiological birth or a c section - you, and you alone live with that.
So ask the questions, learn the things you need to learn, get the support, do whatever you need to do to be at peace with whatever decisions happen during your birth journey.
And that brings me to my second tip.
Read. Lots. (Or listen to podcasts, or watch videos, whatever your preferred learning method is) This will help you understand what physiological birth is and how to support it. How to spot and deal with emergencies.
Read other women's birth stories and draw on their experiences since you don't have your own yet. Stories are a powerful way to retain info and be connected to the "red thread" of matriarchal lineage and sisterhood.
I truly believe that we as women know how to birth. All the information we need is within us... If we can listen to our intuition and follow our bodies' lead, most of the time, birth works.
Some of us do better surrendering to that process instinctively, and some of us do better when we understand the process a little bit. Neither way is wrong. So if you have a need for information, go ahead and fill that.
This is one of my favourite descriptions ever of physiological birth.
https://thematrona.com/the-holistic-stages-of-birth/
However, tip #3
When it comes time to birth, ignore everything you've read. Just birth.
Listen only to what you need to, if that situation or emergency comes up. Birth in the zone, birth with your primal brain, and your instincts. Go deep within and draw on your ancestral knowledge. Find your voice. Roar baby out if you need to. As Ina May Gaskin says, "Let your monkey do it!"
The modern information you've gathered will be there to access in the right time. You don't need it all the time.
Tip #5
Own your inexperience - in my opinion, its good to be a first time mother (FTM). You don't have previous, (usually bad) experiences to cloud your judgement. You can tune into your body with everything. Don't let anyone discourage you because you are new to this. You don't have to DO anything. Your body will birth even if you don't think you know how. Your body was made for this same as every other woman!
"One tip that's sort of general: not all advice is meant for you. I felt like i would be bad at birth because i struggle to 'surrender to the moment' and didn't feel a benefit from visualizing myself in a ball of protective light. Turns out I had to meet birth in the warrior archetype instead. Those tools aren't wrong they just weren't for me this time. Prepare with various tools, but be ready to drop them or change tactics as soon as it gets started. Some women might prepare to hypnobirth in a pool surrounded by support and then in the moment find they actually need to be alone swearing on the toilet. You never know what you will need, so prepare but also improvise because birth is SUPPOSED to challenge you and subject you to the unknown. And this is just my experience so it might not be general for everyone freebirthing for their first but the advice I would give to someone else is: this is the hardest way to do it. You've chosen it for a reason when you had other much easier options. Its not going to be an easy path but its your path. It may feel isolating and overwhelming, you may find yourself wishing things were different. There's a part of you that knows this is right for you, listen to that part if you ever feel lost or confused. Freebirthing your first is not easy but you're up to it, you wouldn't have chosen it if you weren't up to the challenge. - freebirther, after her first birth
Tip #6 is a group tip.
This is a list of the most common reasons for first time mother transfer. If you can understand these and take steps to prevent them, you'll have a much better chance of staying home, and avoiding intervention.
Fears of the unknown/fear of birth/fear of lack of experience
This is just something you have to work through - trust birth, and trust that your body knows what to do.
https://aucontemplativelife.wixsite.com/unassistedhomebirtha/positive-birth-affirmations
Lack of support OR negative people in your birth space.
Lack of support happens in two ways. By not having the people you need there, for example birthing alone, or with just your husband when you feel you need a doula too. Some women need extra hands for counter pressure or to fill the pool, and that's okay if you're one of those.
The second lack of support is because the people present aren't supportive. Anyone present should be there to Protect, See, or Support you as YOU do what you need to do. No one should be there who is fearful of natural birth. No one should be coming in thinking they are the authority on YOUR birth. You do not need to have your cousin there because she is a nurse and wants to be there, or your dad because he is an OBGYN. If your doula starts fear mongering you, send them home. Everyone should defer to you and what you need, not what they *think*.
"When my mum came to my first freebirth, she had quite a drive, and we had texted her to say contractions were on top of each other. When she arrived, she noticed I had a break between contractions. She asked my husband, "Is this the first time she has had a break?" And when he said "yes", she "Okay" in a calm and knowing tone. I wasn't fully aware until later that the break was the natural calm that happens in some labours, but I did know that my mum didn't think it was an issue. I knew that she didn't think labour was "stalling" but that everything was fine, and it was incredibly reassuring. She barely spoke until baby was born a couple hours later, but the few words she did say, and her very presence was nothing but one of confidence in me"
Maternal exhaustion
The uterus is a MUSCLE. So like any muscle, you need to keep it hydrated and energised. (Fun fact: The uterus grows from a mere 60 grams pre pregnancy to a powerful 1kg, ready to birth)
Don't do all the walking etc to "strengthen contractions". Trust me, they'll get stronger.
Rest until you can't ignore contractions anymore. Also stay hydrated, and eat nourishing foods for energy if you can in early labour. There is a theory that first timers have a 3 day labour.
If you have a long labour, being well rested will help contractions remain efficient, and help you stay home as long as possible.
Malposition
A baby that isn't optimally positioned will take a lot of effort and energy to get positioned to come out. A lot of your contractions' power will go into that instead of dilating and building the fundus. It may also impact baby into the side of your pelvis or along your back causing pain and swelling for you both.
And a baby that is completely transverse is a baby that cannot be born vaginally.
Spinning Babies website has lots of tips and techniques of things to do pre labour and during labour to help. Their website also includes belly mapping methods.
Transition
This is the phase when the mother is nearly ready to meet her baby. The hormone rush of adrenaline can trigger unpredictable and fearful thoughts about death and your abilities, and cause you to not trust yourself. Many women transfer thinking something is wrong, only to have the baby shortly after arrival. Instead, knowing that this phase is common and temporary can give you relief remembering that it means you are nearly there!
https://aucontemplativelife.wixsite.com/unassistedhomebirtha/transition
Pushing
Coached pushing, or pushing without your body naturally doing it for you can mean that you would be pushing for hours and hours, exhausting you and compromising baby.
You don't have to consciously push! Your body will do it for you. The Fetal Ejection Reflex is a built in mechanism in all mammals, and your best hope is to avoid disturbances so you can experience it. This article has some excellent tips on pushing.
http://wisewomanwayofbirth.com/pushing-for-primips/
After Birth
This last tip is not all about transfer, but about three important things women often forget to research.
Postpartum healing
Breastfeeding
Researching all of these in some detail will help with your recovery and how you feel after birth. After baby comes the placenta, and having a plan for how you want to manage the “third stage” with physiological or active management may prevent post birth transfer. You may not need postpartum pain relief, (such as Blissful Herbs Afterpain ease Tincture), but if you do want it, it’s better to have it in the house ready! And you may never need to access a lactation consultant, but knowing that you have a number to call might save you some sleep deprived midnight stress.
Finally, if you do transfer, or even just if you have a midwife and she suggests an intervention at home, or maybe you're still pregnant and someone is suggesting an induction….remember that you have brains and you can use them!
Take responsibility for your birth. Ask the questions. Make the decisions.
Meet your baby on your terms!
And through all of that, before you ever get to that point, during pregnancy, give a gift to your future mother-self. Tell yourself that whatever happens, you will do, you DID do, your best. You are amazing. You are enough. You are perfect for your baby, no matter how they were birthed. Affirm yourself over and over, during pregnancy, labour, postpartum, and breastfeeding. You are an awesome mother.
All the best to you on that journey!